Always In My Mind
by tinypinkmouse
Summary: As the Apocalypse draws nearer Lucifer slowly draws Sam closer to saying yes. It seems they're all standing on the brink of both destruction and insanity and Dean's finding it's actually pretty awesome to have an archangel around. Dean/Gabriel,Sam/Lucifer
1. Chapter 1

Co-authored with **princess_aleera**.

Written for **spn_ficmatchup**'s Co-Writing Challange.

A _huge_ thanks to our lovely betas, **auntmo9** and **cashay**. Also, thanks to the mods who've been lenient with us, seeing as both authors have had quite a few things to deal with on a personal basis.

**Warnings: lots of angst, bad words and falling!Castiel, character death and other unpleasantries.**

**Pairings: Dean/Gabriel, Sam/Lucifer**

**Spoilers: up to and including 5.18, but goes mostly AU after 5.08.**

* * *

"Gabriel has decided to join our quest," Castiel said.

Dean had seen Castiel do stupid things before. But appearing in the middle of their motel room, bringing an _archangel_ with him? The same archangel they'd left dripping wet in a warehouse, after insulting him and his family and trapped him in a ring of Holy Fire?

Besides, Gabriel didn't really look like he was about to join anything at all. He looked smitey. Dean wasn't sure if that was a word, but it was still the truth. He took a small step backwards.

"Why did you bring him here, Cas?" he finally heard Sam say.

Castiel turned towards him. "Because Gabriel is joining us."

"Yeah?" Dean chimed in. "Then why does he look like he's two seconds away from putting us in another Nut Cracker?"

He saw Sam wince at the memory.

Gabriel glared at Dean. "I _ am_ standing right here, you know."

Dean pointedly ignored him, focusing on Castiel. "Why'd you bring him here, Cas?"

Castiel looked... defiant. That was strange, Dean thought. He'd seen that look many times, but he'd seldom been the focal point of it. "Gabriel's staying," was all he said. His voice was final. It was the 'I am an Angel of the Lord' voice, which he didn't use often.

So Dean and Sam shared an exasperated-but-still-kinda-afraid look, and then shrugged.

"Do you promise not to use your mojo on us, or, you know... kill us?" Dean asked Gabriel.

Gabriel smirked. "Nope."

"Fucking great."

"He won't harm you, Dean," Castiel assured him.

"What can you do to stop him?" Dean pointed out.

Castiel gave him a look. Dean suspected it was the 'This angel works in mysterious ways' look, but it could just as well be the 'I can't, but that's not really my problem, is it?' look. So, Dean wasn't really reassured.

"So," Gabriel sighed, snapping his fingers and producing a candy bar. "What do you kids do for fun around here?"

Dean glared at the faintly smirking Gabriel and didn't answer the question. Gabriel didn't look like he'd suddenly acquired any kind of team spirit in the last few moments. At least he looked less like a very pissed off archangel who was seconds away from snapping them all into little bloody bits. That didn't actually make Dean feel any better about the situation, because it meant that he looked a lot more like the Trickster they'd come to know and… well, know.

Whatever Castiel had done to throw him off balance, it seemed like Gabriel was regaining his cool.

"So, you're going to help us?" Dean asked and didn't even bother trying to sound like he believed it.

"I didn't say that," Gabriel smirked.

"Then why are you here, Gabriel?" Dean recognized Sam's 'I'm going to be mature and responsible' voice. It had been Sam's idea to try talking the Trickster into helping, Dean thought. No doubt Sam would think there was an even better reason to do it now that they knew who he really was, and if Dean had thought for a moment that Gabriel would actually help, he would have been right there with Sam.

Gabriel gave a small shake of his head and gave them a look that might have been disappointment before turning the TV on with a snap of his fingers. The unmistakable sound of Dr. Sexy's voice flowed into the room as Gabriel vanished from sight only to reappear sprawled on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his arms.

Sam looked pointedly at Dean. Dean frowned at him, there was no way Sam could blame this on him.

Sam's gaze flicked meaningfully over to Castiel and then back to Dean.

Oh… Right.

"Cas, I need to talk to you." He considered the motel room for a moment. "Outside."

He shared a look with Sam wanting to ask if Sam was sure about this. Dean was not happy at all about leaving Sam alone with Gabriel even for a moment.

"I can hear you, you know," Gabriel pointed out, sounding… annoyed.

Dean glared at the back of Gabriel's head; he hadn't even bothered to look away from the TV. From the corner of his eye he could see Sam shake his head in that way that meant he wanted Dean to keep his mouth shut.

"Don't listen," Dean bit out and headed to the door. If he yanked the door open with a bit more force than necessary, at least no one felt the need to point it out.

It took a moment before Castiel followed him and for a brief second Dean wondered if he even would. Then the door clicked shut quietly behind Castiel. And hey, at least he'd actually used the door this time.

The way Castiel looked at him made it pretty clear that he knew exactly what Dean wanted to talk about and he wasn't about to change his mind. It felt just as unsettling now at it had moments ago to have Castiel look at him like that. He wasn't used to it.

"Look, Cas, we all know we can use the help." Dean wasn't stupid enough to not admit that if they could get an archangel on their side, that'd certainly be something. Maybe they'd even have a chance. "But the guy doesn't exactly have any reason to like us and he probably still wants us as meat suits for his brothers."

For a moment Castiel looked pained. "I was there, Dean." They still didn't know what Gabriel had done to Castiel while they'd been stuck in TV Land and Dean suddenly felt like he should have asked.

Dean sighed. "How do we know this isn't just another trick?"

"Gabriel is... unpredictable. But he won't harm you," Castiel told him. Dean couldn't help but notice that he hadn't actually answered the question.

"Yeah, you said that."

Castiel gave him a look that Dean took to mean 'so, why do you keep asking?' "I must return to my search," the angel said abruptly, before vanishing with the familiar sound of unseen wings.

Well, Dean thought, that could have gone better.

* * *

"Not gonna join, Sammy?"

"It's Sam," Sam gritted out, pointedly not looking at the archangel perched on their couch. He saw Dean re-enter, Castiel not following. Dean shrugged and shook his head, and Sam sighed.

"So," Dean said, "you staying here long?"

"As long as I'm needed," Gabriel drawled, and Sam couldn't help it: "All the time?"

"Not necessarily."

"Thank God," Sam heard Dean mutter under his breath.

"Not in the likely," it came dryly from the couch.

The silence that followed was awkward. Sam noticed Dean seemed... torn, somehow. His eyes kept shifting back and forth, and he kept shoving his hands deeper into his pockets.

Then; "Fuck it." Dean flopped down in the couch. "Which episode?"

"The one where Doctor Piccolo finds out about Johnny Drake." Gabriel shoved the popcorn box towards Dean.

"Oh, I love this one," Dean said.

Sam noticed he didn't touch the popcorn.

* * *

"Hello, Sam."

Sam groaned inwardly and didn't answer.

"Still not talking, I see," the Devil nodded. He was smiling. "No rush, Sam. I've got all night. Well, all _eternity_ if I want to, but I doubt that will be necessary."

"Why do you keep visiting my dreams?" Sam snapped. "You _know_ I won't say yes."

"Really?"

"_Yes,_ fucking really. I'll _never_ say yes."

"Very well," Lucifer nodded, in the way that meant he didn't believe Sam at all. "Maybe I just enjoy pushing your buttons."

Sam didn't answer. He just stayed in the chair, pointedly ignoring the elephant in the room. Or the Devil in the room. Whatever.

Lucifer sighed. "You know, Sam-"

"Don't." Sam raised a finger at Lucifer. "Don't come here with your oh, so righteous bullshit speeches. I've heard them all before."

Lucifer _laughed._ "Very well, Sam. No bullshit speeches."

Sam nodded.

The rest of the night went by in silence. There wasn't a single moment the Devil's eyes weren't locked on Sam.

Sam couldn't wait for morning to come. Again.

* * *

It was fucking creepy trying to sleep with an angel in the same room, trying not to think about whatever it was angels did while normal people slept. One day, if they lived through this, he was going to ask Castiel about that. Somehow, he just didn't think that skulking around Dean's room while he slept was part of the job description. It had been bad enough when Castiel had done it, but Gabriel? Not fucking happening. Dean got little enough sleep as it was, he didn't need Gabriel to make it worse.

As plans go, telling Gabriel to get the hell out of there hadn't been the best one, but surprisingly enough it had actually worked. Which was why Dean hadn't expected to jerk awake from his dreams to find Gabriel in the room with him.

For a brief moment they just stared at each other, the nightmare still too fresh in Dean's mind for him to think of anything to say that wouldn't make Gabriel pissed off. He was just about to open his mouth and say it anyway. "Nightmares," Gabriel said and Dean wasn't sure what to make of the tone. At least he'd spoken quietly enough that he hadn't woken Sam up.

"How'd you guess," Dean drawled out, managing to keep his own voice low. Then he thought better of it and stalked quietly to the bathroom, determined to ignore Gabriel.

Gabriel didn't do anything, but Dean was sure he could feel his eyes on him.

He spent as much time in the bathroom as he could without making it seem like he was trying to spend as much time as possible in the bathroom. There was still the issue of Dean feeling uncomfortable about leaving Sam, especially a sleeping Sam, alone in the same room as Gabriel.

Fuck, Dean thought before stepping out of the bathroom, he could use a drink right about now. Or a whole damn bottle. If nothing else Dean really needed coffee, but there was no way he was leaving to get it.

Still ignoring Gabriel, Dean pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, the same ones he'd had on yesterday in fact. Then he pulled out the stack of newspapers from the day before and started leafing through them; if he wasn't going to get anymore sleep he might as well try to find them something useful to do, or, well... _something_ to do.

Dean threw down his third newspaper on the table. "Just fucking do something," he hissed at Gabriel, remembering at the last minute to keep his voice down.

Gabriel's lips quirked up a bit. "Like what?"

He threw a stack of newspapers at Gabriel, who caught them out of instinct. "Make yourself useful."

Dean was pretty sure that was genuine surprise on Gabriel's face. He smiled a bit as he went back to flipping through the newspapers.

* * *

"See you tomorrow, Sam," Lucifer said.

Sam woke up. He peered around him, quickly making certain that there was no danger, then put his head back down.

"Bad dream?" he heard Dean ask.

Sam grunted something vaguely affirmative, before he rolled out of bed. "You're up early."

"Always am," Dean said, which was kinda true these days, when Sam thought about it.

"You got coffee," Sam pointed at the steaming cup on the table.

"_I_ got coffee," Gabriel said, throwing away a newspaper before starting on a new one.

"Um," Sam said, looking at him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a new dress," Gabriel said dryly. "My old one's all holy. Get it? Holy?"

"Hilarious," Dean rolled his eyes, but his mouth was quirked upwards. "He's helping."

"Ah," Sam said. "Of course?"

"Coffee?" Gabriel asked.

"Sure."

"Go do your geek thing," Dean said and gestured at Sam's laptop.

Sam rolled his eyes.

Then they all went to work.

* * *

"Is it always this boring?" Gabriel asked conversationally and snapped his fingers. This time Dean didn't startle when the newspaper appeared in front of him.

"No one's making you stay," Dean pointed out distractedly and picked up the newspaper Gabriel had just sent him.

"I could just tell you all of this." Gabriel waved one of his newspapers in Dean's direction.

The latest article Gabriel had pointed out was placed into the small pile of things that looked promising. "Yeah, but I don't trust you."

"Did you want some more coffee Dean?" Gabriel asked with a small smile.

"Only if you're going to leave to get it."

Sam resisted the temptation to slam his laptop shut; it was _his_ laptop after all. "I'm done," he announced instead.

Dean looked up at him in surprise.

"See, this is boring," Gabriel said smugly, like Sam had just proven a point.

Sam had been listening to those two on and off for the whole morning and sad as it was that had been a whole lot more interesting than anything he'd found. So not a lot of new information about anything, and Sam was tired and still hadn't had any breakfast.

Dean's eyes turned back to Gabriel. "It's supposed to be," he snapped. Going by the slight grimace that showed a moment later Sam was betting he'd just realized he hadn't quite thought that argument through.

"We're not going to find much more Dean," Sam said, since ignoring the exchange between the two seemed the safest course of action.

Dean grabbed the small pile of possible hunts and shrugged. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast," Sam agreed.

No one bothered to ask Gabriel.

* * *

They were sitting at the diner, enduring a semi-awkward silence, when the waitress came over.

"What can I get you boys?" she smiled at them.

"Stack of pancakes with chocolate syrup," Gabriel grinned.

Dean ordered eggs and bacon- mostly because he wasn't gonna order the same thing as Gabriel. He had standards, after all.

"Um," Sam said as he peered at the menu. "What's today's special?"

"Pig'n a Poke," the waitress said cheerily, and Sam paled.

"I'll take an omelet," he said, his voice small. He gave the waitress a fake smile, and dropped the menu so she wouldn't notice how his hands were shaking. He knew Dean had.

Dean's lips drew thin, and he sent Gabriel a glare.

Gabriel frowned, before realization seemed to hit him. "You know, Sammy-" he started.

"Don't," Sam said sharply as he watched the waitress leave. "Just don't."

Gabriel opened his mouth, then nodded and kept quiet.

* * *

They were back in their room, Dean and Gabriel sitting at their table with a cup of coffee each. Dean grudgingly had to admit to himself that Gabriel made _really_ good coffee.

He noticed Gabriel's smirk.

"I told you to _stay out_ of my head, Gabriel."

"Couldn't help it," Gabriel answered lightly, before throwing away yet another newspaper. "I'm booooored."

"Yes, thank you, we know. I'll let you know when I start giving a fuck."

Sam sighed. "Would you guys _please_ stop acting like an old married couple? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Sam, ew!" Dean exclaimed, his mind immediately bringing up images he _did not want in his head, dammit._ "Gross!"

"And I'll never be old, let's not forget," Gabriel said helpfully.

"Shut the hell up."

Gabriel huffed in annoyance. "Booooring."

"Gabriel!"

"Dean!" Sam barked.

* * *

Dean didn't want to admit it, but Gabriel was more than right. This was boring. Part of Dean still wanted to insist that they should stay here and do more research (pointless as it seemed to be at the moment) only because of how much it seemed to annoy Gabriel. But Dean had his limits and he was really fucking bored.

Without thinking about it he glanced over at Gabriel, who wasn't looking at Dean, but was smiling faintly. It looked a whole lot like Gabriel was feeling kind of satisfied about something.

Oh, he hadn't just... _Screw you Gabriel,_ Dean thought distinctly. The smile on Gabriel's lips grew wider, even as he continued to look at the newspaper he was holding.

"You found anything useful, Sam?" Dean asked, turning his attention to Sam who was staring at the screen on his laptop.

Sam frowned. "I'm starting to think there isn't anything to find," he muttered, looking like the lack of information was a personal insult to him. "There are more reports about all the weird stuff going on all around the world, but none of it is _useful._"

Dean looked at Sam for a moment. Well, obviously he wasn't the only one feeling frustrated. "Maybe we should go check out one of those." He pointed at the newspapers, maybe a good old fashioned hunt would make them all feel better. That had been the reason Dean had started going through the newspapers in the first place.

"If we could at least figure out a way to use it to track down the devil..." Sam continued like he hadn't even heard Dean, but Dean was pretty sure he was just being ignored.

"Well that's a stupid plan," Gabriel told them, the condescending tone making him sound a lot more like every other angel they'd ever met. "Besides, it's not like I don't know where dear old Luci is."

Both Dean and Sam turned to look at Gabriel who was still holding on to a newspaper, which he wasn't actually looking at now. Neither of them asked the obvious question, but you didn't need to be a mind reader to hear that one.

The silence grew.

"I'm not going to _tell_ you," Gabriel said like it should have been obvious.

"Why the fuck not?" Dean demanded.

For a moment Gabriel looked like the very pissed off archangel they'd gotten a glimpse of earlier. Then his lips twisted into a slightly bitter grin. "And what would you do with that piece of information?"

It wasn't Dean's fault that he didn't have a good answer for that.

* * *

It didn't take long after that for Dean to pick a hunt, Sam was pretty sure he'd just picked one of the articles at random. At that point it didn't really matter. They were all more than happy to just get out of the motel room.

Sam should have been happy that both Dean and Gabriel were staying quiet, because having to hear those two bicker about everything would have made for one long car ride. Except now with Dean quietly pissed off and Gabriel sulking (and it felt wrong to think of an archangel sulking, but there just wasn't any other word for it) in the backseat the quiet was anything but comfortable.

He was annoyed at Gabriel too, but he wasn't really surprised that Gabriel had refused to tell them the whereabouts of the devil. Gabriel hadn't promised to actually help them and he was right; they'd have to figure out a way to kill the devil before that information would do them any good. Sam was kind of surprised about how angry Dean was about it, though.

Sam sighed quietly. It seemed that with Gabriel around, one way or another Sam was in for a very uncomfortable car ride.

* * *

"So," Lucifer said, "how is the 'not sleeping' thing working out for you?"

Sam sighed and looked around. The room was bland, white, and there were no other furniture than two old-looking chairs in the middle of the room. "Why is it so boring?"

Lucifer looked around. "Well, it's your head, Sam. You can make it as boring or interesting you want." He smirked. "My guess? You try to be as neutral as you possibly can, as to not give me any leads about your thoughts, whereabouts or anything else."

Sam flinched.

"Struck a nerve?"

"Shut up." Sam stayed where he was, with the Devil on the other side of the room.

"How is Castiel?" Lucifer suddenly asked.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well, he _is_ my little brother. Has he found Dad yet?" The voice was strangely void of any mocking- it sounded almost sincere.

Sam looked at the Devil for a long time, then shook his head. "No, he hasn't."

Lucifer nodded. He looked... sad, almost.

"Do you care?" Sam snorted.

Lucifer sent him a glare, and the air crackled for a short second. "Of course I do."

"I thought you'd want Daddy to stay gone while you ruin his toys," Sam drawled.

"I know Dad isn't coming back. I _know_ this." Lucifer's expression softened almost imperceptibly. "This does not mean I do not wish for Castiel to find some sign that he is still around. There are few things so horrible as to lose faith, and it's a fate I want few to suffer. Least of all Castiel." The Devil looked at the ceiling.

"Why not?"

"I like him," The Devil said simply.

Sam frowned, but didn't say anything else.

Lucifer suddenly glanced at him. "I will see you later, Sam."

_"Sam."_

"What?" Sam asked.

"_Sam!_" Dean said again, and Sam jerked awake.

"What, huh?" Sam mumbled as he sat up. He'd obviously fallen asleep in the Impala.

"Lunch," Dean said and got out.

Sam noticed Gabriel was frowning at him from the backseat. "It's fine. I'm fine."

Gabriel nodded slowly. "If you say so."

* * *

"You should worry about him," a voice behind Dean said.

Dean whipped his head around, to find the archangel leaning against the wall. He turned his gaze back to his sleeping brother. "You really think I don't?"

"Nope," Gabriel said. "Just that you should maybe, I don't know, talk to him or something. I've seen that look too many times before."

"What look?"

"The look on Sam's face every time he wakes up. Have you seriously not noticed?" Gabriel walked over to the beds, standing not too far from Dean. "It's like someone just told him a secret- one he's not sure he wanted to know. Luci was always good at telling half-truths."

"You think he's messing with Sam's head?" Dean was pretty sure himself, but he had to ask.

"I'm sure he is. It's what my brother _does._"

"Fuck." Dean dragged a hand across his face, tired. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Hell if I know," Gabriel replied dryly.

"Can you spy on his dreams?"

Gabriel shook his head. "There's something in the way- I don't know if it's mine or your brother's doing, but everything gets muffled. Not like your thoughts," he said and smirked.

"I told you to stay out my head," Dean grumbled.

"But you know I won't."

Dean didn't have anything to say to that. Instead, he laid down and closed his eyes. "Go away," he said loudly.

"Whatever you say, pumpkin. Sweet dreams." A _snap,_ and Dean was alone.

He felt strangely lonely after that.

* * *

"I see you've tried a new color," Lucifer noticed.

"Seemed a bit stupid to stare at a white wall every night," Sam said, shrugging.

"Why green, if I might ask?"

"I like green."

"Ah."

Sam kept looking at Lucifer suspiciously in the tense silence that followed.

"If there's anything on your mind, Sam, feel free to ask." Lucifer sat very quiet, but not really angel-like. He still moved slightly, breathed, so the impression of a human being was still intact. Not like Castiel, who sometimes could seem like a statue if he wasn't concentrating.

"Why aren't you doing something?" Sam asked.

The Devil merely arched a questioning eyebrow.

"To win me over, to get me to say yes," Sam elaborated. "You're just sitting here, night after night, doing nothing. By all means, it's _really_ uncomfortable and annoying, but it's not like that will be enough."

"You think I should try harder?" Lucifer asked, and his voice was painted with amused curiosity.

"I think you should stop trying altogether," Sam said dryly. "I'm just wondering why you _aren't_ trying harder."

"All in good time," Lucifer said. "Besides, you're interesting."

Sam snorted.

"I don't expect you to believe me, Sam," Lucifer said calmly. "But while I do not thoughtlessly cherish and adore you like the rest of my siblings, even I admit you hold a certain... interest."

Sam actually laughed. "_Cherish and adore?_ Have you met any other angels since you fell? They hate our guts! They've been trying to kill us ever since they started coming down from Heaven!"

Lucifer frowned. "Everyone?"

"Yes, every- Well, no. Not Castiel, obviously," Sam admitted. "And not-" he stopped before he could say _Gabriel-_ he knew he had to keep the news of the archangel a secret to Lucifer. "And not Anna, either," he finished.

Lucifer nodded, as in deep thought.

* * *

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Dean asked, leaning against the hood of the Impala. He'd wanted to talk to Castiel about this, but with Gabriel around Castiel didn't seem to find the need to check up on them quite as often and there was no telling when he'd decide to show up next.

"Like I said, you could try talking to him," Gabriel pointed out less-than-helpfully. "You know that thing where you say something and then he says something and..."

"Yeah, thanks." Dean interrupted dryly. "'So Sammy, is the Devil dream-stalking you?' That'll go over so well."

Gabriel shrugged, looking up at the cloudy sky. "It's better than nothing."

"Isn't there something you can do to... I dunno, keep the devil out of his head?" Dean asked, ignoring the faint bitter taste that came with the knowledge that he was as good as begging Gabriel for help. But this was Sam they were talking about and dammit, if Gabriel could do something... Yeah, Dean would beg. He'd fucking do a lot more than just beg.

Gabriel turned his eyes back toward Dean, the expression on his face seemed... sad, somehow. "No, he _is_ my brother's vessel..." He gave a small half shrug. "There's a connection between them, nothing I can do about that."

Wasn't that convenient. Gabriel wouldn't do something, because he _couldn't._ And for a moment Dean really, really wanted to ask if he would have done something if he _could._ But what would be the point? It'd just annoy both of them, better to just keep his mouth shut for once.

Gabriel smirked faintly at him, but his words were still quiet and oddly serious for him. "I don't know. But I can't, so... it doesn't matter."

Dean blinked. That had been a bit more heartfelt sharing than he'd come to expect from Gabriel. For once Dean really didn't have much to say about his thoughts being read.

"So..." Dean said after an awkward little silence. "How come Michael isn't hanging around in my dreams?"

"Not his style. He's more..." Gabriel's words trailed off as he turned his head to look at Sam stepping out of the dingy little gas station shop.

Dean pushed himself away from the Impala. _"...straightforward."_

Fuck. Did he actually hear that? Gabriel smirked.

_Keep the fuck out of my thoughts Gabriel,_ Dean thought as loudly as he could. Gabriel's smirk grew wider.

"Did you remember the pie?" Dean asked Sam once he was close enough.

"Dude," Sam said, sounding offended. "Have I ever forgotten the pie?"

Dean gave him a meaningful look and snatched the bag out of his hands.

"I could make pie a lot better than that," Gabriel said with an innocent smile.

* * *

Gabriel seemed to watch Sam. It was kind of disturbing, when earlier the archangel hadn't paid attention to the younger Winchester at all. Almost. The last time Gabriel had paid Sam this much attention, he'd been stuck in a time loop for a half a year. So yeah, he was a little disturbed.

"Any particular reason you keep watching me like I'm a bomb about to go off?" he asked out of the blue the next time Dean left to get food.

Gabriel looked away from the TV to frown at him. "Why do you wonder?"

"Because you've always had a reason for following me before," Sam pointed out. "And I'd rather not be turned into the Impala again."

Gabriel chuckled briefly at the memory, then grew serious. "I know you've been talking to Lucifer."

Sam went cold. "How do you know that- have you been spying on my thoughts?" A flare of anger seeped through the fear, and he welcomed it wholeheartedly.

Gabriel shook his head. "I can't get into your head, Sam. Much as I'd like to."

"You can't? Why not?" Now he was just confused.

"Beats me," the archangel shrugged. "I'm guessing it's either got something to do with Lucifer, or the demon blood, or just the vessel-deal. Point is, I'm not spying on you. But I've seen how you look when you wake up."

Sam opened his mouth, and shut it again. There really wasn't any point in arguing.

Gabriel looked more miserable than Sam had ever seen him. "Sam... You gotta be careful, buddy. I know he's been talking to you- about what I can't say, though I can make a pretty good guess, I think. But you gotta understand how he works- I mean, his silver tongue could get Jesus himself to commit genocide. Hell, almost _did._"

"What?"

"Yeah, they didn't put that part in the Bible," Gabriel shrugged. "Wanted the guy to seem stronger, I guess. But my point is, Sam, that he's gonna twist everything he says, everything _you_ say, to his advantage. He'll mess your head up so badly you'll say 'yes' before you can blink. So you can't talk to him. At all. If he shows, ignore him, because he can't hurt you in your dreams as much as he'd like to. Don't answer him, don't look at him, don't acknowledge his presence. 'Cause if you do, you're screwed. It's as basic as that."

Sam didn't answer, just sat down in the couch next to Gabriel. He stared at the TV-screen, not really looking. Gabriel's words floated around in his head, and he thought of the previous nights with the Devil. "He hasn't..." he glanced over at the archangel, who was looking at him with worried interest. "That's the weirdest part, Gabriel. He _hasn't_ done that. He hasn't been twisting the words, hasn't been discussing bullshit with me, hasn't even asked me to say 'yes'! He just sits there and makes small talk, and backs off whenever we get into an argument." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think that's the scariest part; I don't know what he's trying to do."

Gabriel frowned. "Gotta admit, kiddo, that doesn't sound too good."

"I know." Sam sighed.

"Will you tell me what happens during the night?" Gabriel asked, and it sounded like he was honestly interested in Sam's well-being. Then again, Gabriel didn't want the world to end, so Sam guessed that sort of made sense.

"Okay," he nodded. "I will."

* * *

"Hello, Sam."

Sam didn't answer.

Lucifer frowned. "I thought we were past that childish phase where you refused to talk to me?"

Sam pointedly ignored him, and instead counted calmly down from 3,000. The walls were neutrally white again.

The Devil sighed. "Sam. I really thought you were more mature than your brother."

He kept talking to Sam the rest of the night, asking questions, teasing, making assumptions and suggestions.

Sam didn't say a single word.

* * *

"I didn't say anything," he told Gabriel the next morning.

Dean looked between the two of them. "What have you two been talking about now?"

"Good," Gabriel nodded. "I think. What did he say?"

"You know, the usual bullshit," Sam shrugged. "He seemed pretty pissed to be ignored at the end, though."

"You've been ignoring Lucifer?" Dean asked, finally catching on.

Sam nodded. "He's been talking to me in my sleep, so I've been trying to ignore him at Gabriel's request."

Dean flashed a surprised look at Gabriel. "Really? Why'd you do that? I thought you didn't give a damn."

Irritation crossed Gabriel's features briefly, before he settled for a neutral expression. "Well, I do. A little, at least."

"Huh," Dean said, before turning back to his younger brother. "So, did it work?"

"No idea," Sam shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

The next night, Sam was alone in the white room. He sat there for an unknown amount of time, being bored. When he woke up, he did it with a smile on his face. "He's gone," he said to Gabriel and Dean, who was sitting on Dean's bed. They were both watching him.

"We sorta guessed," Dean said softly.

"What?" Sam asked, confused. "How- what's wrong?" There was something closed-off about their expressions.

Dean threw him today's newspaper without a word, and Sam glanced at the headline. He gasped softly, and felt something heavy settle in his stomach. "He- he wiped Hawaii _off the map?_" he asked, almost whimpered.

Gabriel nodded. "He made the hot spot under Hawaii spray out lava until nothing was left." He looked grim. "I really liked Hawaii."

"This is my fault," Sam whispered and let the map drop to the ground. "This is all my fault."

"No, Sammy, it's n-"

"Actually," Gabriel interrupted him, "it is. Well, mine too, obviously, since it was my idea in the first place. But he's doing this to punish you, Sam, for ignoring him. Obviously I... misread my brother's intentions." He sounded deeply disturbed.

"What am I gonna do?" Sam whimpered.

"I don't think you've got much of a choice," Gabriel said softly. "You gotta talk to him, Sam. Really talk to him."

* * *

"I hate this," Dean said quietly, his eyes on the sleeping Sam. Sam was frowning deeply, even in his sleep, and Dean felt the urge to shake him awake. He'd had that same urge every night since... since _Hawaii._

"Yeah, well," Gabriel's voice rang out a bit flatly. "I don't think anyone likes it." Dean hadn't even realized he'd gotten back from wherever he'd been to. After... _that night_ Gabriel had started popping in far more frequently, never gone for very long at a time.

Gabriel didn't sound worried, exactly, but over the past few days Dean had both seen and heard enough worry in Gabriel's voice that he was pretty sure that particular emotion hadn't gone anywhere. It was almost gratifying to know that the Winchesters actually warranted some concern from the archangel, at least it would have been if the situation wasn't what it was.

Dean jerked his eyes away from Sam and looked over at Gabriel leaning against the wall, his usual casual pose looking forced now. Or maybe Dean had just gotten better at seeing it?

"He hasn't talked to you about...?" The sentence trailed of into an uncomfortable silence, the question too obvious too need actual words.

"No," Gabriel answered. "Not a word."

"Yeah," Dean said, his eyes wandering back to Sam. "Me neither."

In fact Sam hadn't talked all that much at all since he found out there was no way he could avoid talking to the Devil. And Dean knew the guilt about what had happened had to be eating Sam alive, but in true and tried Winchester fashion they were all pretending like nothing had happened.

And Sam never said anything at all about his dreams, but since there hadn't been any more sudden genocides it was pretty obvious that whatever it was that the Devil wanted from Sam, he was getting it. And there was nothing at all Dean could do about it, because... _Hawaii._

There was a hand on Dean's shoulder, and when had Gabriel moved in the first place? Not that he needed to actually _walk_ to get there, so...

"I'm sorry I can't do anything," Gabriel said, his voice his voice filled with more regret and sincerity than Dean had ever expected to hear from him, that just a couple of weeks... hell, maybe just a couple of days ago, Dean would never even have believed in. "I don't know what my brother's after," Gabriel added, just as Dean turned to look at him. He wasn't really prepared to see the genuine anguish in Gabriel's eyes.

"I can't..." Gabriel began, his expression turning into something Dean didn't quite have the words for. Then without another sound he was... gone. Just, gone.

Before Dean had the time to even start trying to figure out what the hell had just happened he could hear the completely unmistakable rustle of feathers.

"Cas?"

"Gabriel said you needed me."

Dean looked at Castiel, then back at his sleeping brother. "Yeah, we need to talk. Just. Not here."

Since Castiel was actually here for once, Dean wasn't going to lose the opportunity to talk to him about everything that had been happening lately. About Sam. Because while Gabriel might not be quite as much of a bastard as Dean had thought, Dean wasn't about to just start trusting him blindly.

And maybe Castiel could give him some clue about what the hell was going on with Gabriel while he was at it.

* * *

The first night after Hawaii, Sam had been alone in the white room. Though the room wasn't white anymore, of course; it was scorched black, with a deep tinge of red to it. Obviously something his subconscious had added to drive the knife of guilt just a _little_ further into Sam's chest. Thanks for that, Sam thought grimly.

After staring at that for a whole night, Sam didn't speak a word when he woke up. Dean and Gabriel didn't ask, so Sam didn't answer. Although he felt their gazes on him constantly, waiting for him to... What? Suddenly be Lucifer? Say 'yes'? He didn't know, and he didn't _want_ to know.

He was alone the next night too, and had the same grim view. He didn't mention anything when he woke up.

* * *

"There you are," Sam said the third night.

"You missed me that much?" The Devil asked, lips curling in an amused smile. "I'm touched, Sam. I really am."

"Why?" Sam said.

"Why I'm touched?"

"_Why Hawaii?_"

Lucifer shrugged. "I needed to... blow off some steam, as you call it, after our last meeting. You left me feeling frustrated. Hawaii was convenient."

"You son of a bitch," Sam said quietly, and hid his face in his hands. "So this _is_ my fault."

"Yes."

Sam exhaled slowly. "And did it help?"

"What?"

"To fucking blow up Hawaii?"

Lucifer frowned. "No. Strangely enough."

Sam grunted in surprise. "I thought you lived to destroy mankind."

"You are mistaken," Lucifer said. "I live to create Paradise on Earth again."

"Funny," Sam said, "I thought that was what the other angels were doing as well."

"It is," the Devil nodded. "We just have a different view of Paradise. Mine is without the human race."

"_How_ is that different from living to destroy mankind?"

Lucifer just stared at him with an unfathomable expression.

"Right," Sam said tiredly. "And we've reached full circle. Brilliant." He stood up to walk around a bit.

"I like the decorations," Lucifer said as he took in the room around them.

Sam snorted. "Was that a taunt, or a really, really gross compliment?"

Lucifer frowned almost imperceptibly and didn't say anything.

"It's my bad conscience," Sam snapped. "It's supposed to be Hawaii. Or what's left of it."

"Ah." He looked around. "I still like it," he offered.

Sam just stared. Was Lucifer really trying to be _nice?_ After removing a fucking _state_ of America because Sam didn't want to talk to him? "You're fucking unbelievable, you know that?"

"Many people find difficulty believing in me, yes," the Devil nodded seriously.

"Oh, for-" Sam turned his back to the Devil and pounded his fist against the wall. He howled of pain. "I thought I was supposed to be sleeping!"

"You are," he heard. "But there is still a physical manifestation of you here, and it is real enough."

"So... you too?"

"Yes, I am here too."

Sam stayed with his forehead leaned against the wall, clutching his aching hand. He had his eyes closed. "I've lost either way, haven't I?"

"Yes, I believe so," Lucifer said calmly. "But please, do enlighten me on your thoughts."

Sam turned around and slid down the wall until he was sitting. "If I say yes, the world ends. If I say no, you stay in my dreams. If I keep talking to you, the odds are greater you'll be able to manipulate the living daylights outta me. If I _don't_ talk to you, you'll blow up another state. Am I getting close?"

"Very," Lucifer said, and smiled warmly.

* * *

The fourth night, the first thing the Devil said was: "You _will_ say yes to me in the end, Sam. And we both know it. So why do you keep holding on?"

"Because I started the Apocalypse," Sam spoke without even thinking about the answer. It was _that_ deeply embedded in him. "I am not about to finish it."

"You do realize I have been patient with you, Sam?" Lucifer asked, his voice silken smooth. "I know where you and your brother are. If I'd wanted, I could have had you by now."

"You're bluffing," Sam snorted. "If you'd known where I was, I'd been your vessel by now. And Dean would have been dead."

"Don't be so sure, Sammy," Lucifer purred as he kept the hunter's gaze firmly.

"Fine," Sam said, "I believe you." They both knew he didn't.

Lucifer nodded calmly. "I am in a good mood these days," he said quietly. "Pray for your brother that it does not change." And he was gone.

Sam spent the rest of the night pacing his little dream cell, and when he woke up, there was a black rock lying on his night stand. "What is it?" he asked Gabriel as soon as the archangel showed up.

Gabriel closed his eyes and touched it. "It's volcanic ash," he whispered. "From Hawaii."

Sam paled along with Dean.

They drove all day, and that night, Sam keeping himself awake with cups and cups of strong coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

"Go to sleep, Dean," Sam said. "I can't get any fucking rest with you hovering over me." There was a nasty undertone to the words that Dean didn't like at all. But mostly Sam just sounded so goddamned _tired_ these days.

"I just need to check up on something," Dean said vaguely and made an effort to look like he was actually looking up something on the laptop he'd been staring at for the past half an hour. He probably wasn't fooling anyone.

"Whatever." Sam muttered snidely, and just like that he gave up on the issue.

Dean felt like hitting something.

It didn't take long before Sam's breathing evened out and Dean was pretty sure his brother was asleep. Despite everything, Sam fell asleep too damn easily these days. Probably too exhausted most times to stay awake.

Dean turned off the laptop and moved to sit on his bed. Settling in to watch over Sam's sleep. Not like there was anything else he _could_ do.

Things weren't getting any fucking better.

Castiel hadn't had anything helpful to offer and hadn't even bothered to show up other than that one time. Dean knew the guy was busy, but… Hell, the only time Castiel did show up since everything had gotten even more fucked up was when Gabriel had told him to. And he'd only stayed long enough for Gabriel to get back.

The whole thing had been pretty damn strange. Dean couldn't even begin to guess at what the look Castiel had given Gabriel before vanishing was supposed to mean. Hell, knowing the freaky angel telepathy those two had going on they might have had a whole conversation that he had no idea about.

It wasn't like he was going to ask Gabriel what the hell all of that had been about and Gabriel had been acting like everything was just fine and dandy… well, not _everything,_ but like Gabriel at least was fine. Dean wasn't one to go needlessly poking in that kind of stuff and he had more important things to worry about anyway.

And that got him right back to the part where things really weren't getting any fucking better. Fuck. Even the Lilith-obsessed Sam had been better than this. Dean wasn't even sure he'd liked Sam back then, he sure as hell hadn't trusted him. But now… Sam had deep bruises under his eyes all the time, whether he slept or not. And while some nights Sam forced himself to stay awake, it was pretty obvious that he didn't dare to skip more than one night of sleep every now and then. He hardly ate anymore, not even when Dean made a point to find places that offered all that health food crap Sam was so fond of (and you'd think someone could at least appreciate the sacrifice Dean was making; that shit was just disgusting).

It was getting to the point where Dean was starting to think they shouldn't even go on any new hunts, because he wasn't sure if Sam could handle it. Normally Dean would have said that killing a few evil sons of bitches would do them both some good, that's how Winchesters dealt with their issues, but the way Sam looked he might fucking pass out from exhaustion in the middle of a hunt or something.

Dean wasn't even startled when the mattress dipped slightly at the suddenly added weight when Gabriel appeared sitting next to him. He could feel the warmth radiating from the angel next to him.

Neither of them said anything.

After a while Gabriel spoke quietly. "Go to sleep Dean."

Wordlessly Dean got up to pull of most off his clothes before lying down on the bed that Gabriel had been polite enough to vacate. As much as Dean hated sleeping these days, it didn't take him long at all to fall asleep.

A whispered "Good night," was the last thing he heard.

* * *

"Why do you keep fighting?" Lucifer asked.

"Why do you want to know?" Sam shot back as he sat down in the well-worn armchair. "Not like you care anyway."

"Curiosity," he purred.

"Because of humanity. Because of my family; Dean, Cas, Mom, Dad, Bobby, Ellen, Jo. Because of the people I love. Because of the people I _don't_ love- the ones I don't know, but who live lives of their own, _love_ on their own." Sam looked at the Devil. "Because of happiness, joy, hate, sorrow, laughing and crying. Because of life, and the ups and downs of it. Because of _everything._" He kept his gaze long after his little speech.

"Touching," Lucifer said, but he looked contemplative. "But why sorrow, I wonder? Why hate? Why not take the good things in life and leave it at that?"

"Because you can't," Sam shook his head. "It doesn't work that way. If you don't experience anything painful, you can't learn to appreciate the _good_ parts of life. And I admit, I've had more than my fair share of painful things... But at least I know happiness when I see it." He smiled, more genuinely than he'd done for a long time.

"And how long ago is that?" Lucifer asked. "Since you've felt true and utter happiness?"

Sam just looked at him, and his smile faded. "A... long time," he said slowly.

The other man nodded and didn't say anything else.

* * *

"Why do you keep fighting?"

"I told you," Sam frowned. "Last night."

"Tell me again," the Devil said, sounding amused.

"Why?"

"Just curious."

So Sam told him. Again. This time, he didn't smile.

* * *

_"Why do you keep fighting?"_

The same question. Every single night. And every single night, Sam would answer it the same way. Except for every time, a tiny piece of his little speech disappeared. Got lost. Was forgotten.

The days went by in a blur, and the nights were too long with too little in between. Lucifer stopped trying to convince him. Instead, he asked question after question after question. Why did he love life, when there was so much misery? How did he dare to love, when everyone he knew had betrayed him at some point in their lives? Why, how, when, which, where, what, _why? Why, why, **why?**_

But Sam wasn't going crazy. He had full control. He had.

Really. He had.

* * *

Dean was driving him crazy. Sam had held on for this long, why should he say 'yes' now?

But Dean just watched him, every day, every night, _all the fucking time._ He thought Sam didn't know- that he'd sit up every night, looking at Sam. Staring.

It was driving Sam _crazy._

"Will you stop it?" he suddenly yelled, and Dean flinched.

"What the Hell?"

"You're staring, Dean! Always staring at me like I'm about to go apeshit on your ass or something! I'm doing what I can, okay?" Sam was so furious and frustrated he was shaking. "Do you see any other parts of the world blowing up, huh? Guess I must be doing _something_ right, huh? _HUH?_"

"Sam," a calm voice said behind him. "I think you should stop now."

Dean looked like he was about to cry, but Sam didn't care. He just spun around to confront the Archangel. "And what have _you_ done, Gabriel? Have you done _anything_ useful past sitting here, flirting with my brother?"

Gabriel looked like Sam had slapped him. "Sam..."

"No, I'm tired of you. Both of you." Sam walked over to the door, but didn't open it. Just looked back to see his older brother and the archangel gaze at each other like something important had just occurred to them. "There. Took you fucking long enough to find out." And he walked out of the door and left.

* * *

Dean stared at Gabriel.

Fuck. He...

"Dean..." Gabriel started tentatively.

"No," Dean interrupted. "Right now, I don't give a shit."

Sam. Sam was more important right now than... than this... than Gabriel.

"Sam," he whispered. What had the Devil been doing to Sam? Dean had been doing the only thing he still could to look out for Sam. How could Sam think he was watching him because...

Any uncharacteristic hesitation on Gabriel's face vanished in an instant, replaced by a serious look. He gave Dean a short nod before vanishing soundlessly.

For a moment Dean just stared at the place Gabriel had occupied only moments before.

Had Gabriel really...?

He shook his head briefly. Shit. He really didn't have time for that right now.

Dean pulled out his cell phone. He didn't expect Sam to answer, but... a familiar ring tone sounded from the duffel Sam had left behind.

Dean swore and threw his own phone. It thudded against the wall and the ringing went quiet as the sad pieces of the phone clattered to the floor.

"He's gone." Gabriel's voice sounded too loud in the quiet.

Okay. He could deal with that. He knew Sam, he'd always found him before. Eventually.

* * *

He stole a car. He didn't know what kind, didn't care. He drove and drove, drove until he almost crashed because he couldn't keep his eyes open. Then he checked into a motel, paid in cash so his brother couldn't find him, and filled the walls of his motel room with sigils to keep angels away and off his 'scent'.

Then he collapsed on the bed, clothes on.

"Why do you keep fighting, Sam?"

"I don't know," Sam said, collapsing on the floor next to the Devil. _"I don't know anymore."_

* * *

"Dean, there's nothing more you can do right now," Gabriel said gently. "Bobby will get back to you the moment there's anything and I'm..."

"I know," he gritted out through clenched teeth, pushing the laptop away from him. He knew he wasn't going to find out anything useful. There wouldn't be anything yet, Sam was probably still on the road in some stolen car that no one might even be missing yet.

But Dean had to do _something._ He couldn't just sit around and wait.

There was a brief glint of _something_ in Gabriel's eyes and in the next instant Dean found himself with a lapful of archangel.

"Wha..." He stiffened for a moment when Gabriel pressed his lips to Dean's before trying to shove him away. It was like trying to shove a brick wall; if brick walls happened to feel warm and soft and surprisingly human while straddling his lap.

Gabriel persisted for a moment longer before pulling his head back. He gave Dean a weak grin and didn't look like he was even thinking about moving anytime soon.

It took Dean a moment to get his voice back. "What the hell, Gabriel?" It came out a lot less forceful than he'd meant, which might have something to do with the fact that _Gabriel was still sitting in his lap._ "What the fuck do you think you're doing!"

"Distracting you," Gabriel said, managing to give off a weird mix of smugness and hesitation that only Gabriel could ever pull off.

"Get the hell off me, Gabriel," Dean growled and tried another useless push at the archangel's shoulders.

Gabriel seemed to give it some thought. "No," he said and gave Dean another faint smile. "You could try kissing back," Gabriel whispered before framing Dean's head with his hands (probably just to keep Dean from turning his head away) and pressed his lips to Dean's again.

Dean did _not_ kiss him back.

* * *

"I can hear you think," Gabriel breathed out quietly.

Gabriel's arms were resting against Dean's shoulders, his forehead against Dean's, their breaths mingling in the quiet space between them.

The only thing Dean could have done, since trying to push Gabriel away from him kept proving to be useless, was to pull his head back and that just felt... stupid.

"I _said_ no," Dean pointed out, keeping his own voice just as low as Gabriel's.

God, did he just say that? That was such a...

"Yup, you're totally the girl in this relationship." Gabriel grinned at him.

"Who's the one sitting in my lap?"

There was a moment of silence.

..._Fuck!_

He wasn't agreeing with _anything,_ he was just pointing out that he wasn't the chick here.

"Dean," Gabriel said, sounding exasperated. "I _know_ how stubborn you are," he continued, voice softening a great deal. "But now you're just getting ridiculous."

Dean didn't say anything.

"Would it be easier if I came with a set of boobs?" Gabriel was definitely getting exasperated.

Actually, yeah probably, Dean admitted quietly to himself. Except knowing Gabriel... "You're _not_ going to add a pair to that body." And that was one mental image he'd never wanted to have.

"Well... if it would help..."

"No."

"Fine," Gabriel mock grumbled. He drew his head back and gave Dean a serious look. "You're not a complete moron, I know you can see it now. What we've been doing."

It was so obvious now that someone had pointed it out for him. There was no way Dean could deny it to himself now; Gabriel _had_ been flirting with him and Dean had been flirting right back. And it wasn't just that... he _liked_ Gabriel, hell he _trusted_ Gabriel.

How could he not have realized what they were doing?

"For someone who can read your mind loud and clear it took me embarrassingly long to figure out you _liked_ me." The emphasis on the word 'like' made it pretty clear what Gabriel was talking about. "I might have tried something like this a bit sooner if I had," Gabriel added.

"When?" The question slipped out before Dean could really think about it.

"I didn't know for sure until..." Gabriel fidgeted in what seemed like actual embarrassment. And he was still _sitting in Dean's lap._ "Well, tonight."

Gabriel's shoulders lifted slightly in a small shrug. "We all have our issues," he said quietly. Then he seemed to shake of the gloom and gave Dean one of his usual grins. "So, could we maybe talk about them more after some mind-blowing sex?" Gabriel's smile softened and if it wasn't for that little mischievous glint in his eyes, it would have looked... sappy. "Or at least the kind of kissing where you actually kiss me back?"

Gabriel leaned in closer, their lips almost touching. "I'd give you more time," he told Dean softly. "But we might both be dead by tomorrow."

Well, when he put it like that... Dean could regret things later, if they survived.

He leaned forward and closed the gap between them.

* * *

"Don't touch me," Sam snarled and shied away.

Lucifer sighed. "I don't understand you, Sam. Everything about your body language is telling me you want physical comfort, yet you shy away."

"Of course I do!" Sam huffed out. "But I don't want it from _you!_"

"Why not?"

"Because you're the _Devil!_ All you want from me is to have me as your meat suit!" Sam curled up in a corner and waited for morning.

"I have never claimed that," Lucifer said carefully, eying him.

"Of course you haven't, you're not _stupid,_ are you?"

"Sam." Lucifer's voice was calm, but demanding. "Look at me."

Sam ignored him.

"Please."

Sam flinched at the word, and dared a look.

Lucifer was sitting, elbows on his shoulders, gazing right at Sam. "You know that I know where you are. Where your brother is. Any time for the last three weeks, I could have gotten him. Used him to make you say yes. You _know_ you would have said yes, Sam."

"I wouldn't," Sam said, but he was lying and they both knew it.

"No? Not even if I tortured him for eternity, him and every single person you've ever known and loved?" Lucifer was still calm. "Alistair was not the only torturer in Hell."

Sam swallowed and closed his eyes. "So... Why didn't you?" It was a slippery slope, he knew that, but he had to ask. Had to _know._

"I don't know," Lucifer answered. "At least, not at first."

Sam frowned, surprised.

"You're... intriguing, Sam," the Devil sighed. "You interest me beyond what is necessary- not just your vessel's state, but your personality, your thoughts, your... _emotions._" He almost spat out the last word.

Sam looked at him for a long time, before he sighed and slumped back against the wall. "You realize there is absolutely _no_ way I can trust you, right? I mean, for all I know this is just some other scheme to get me onto your side."

"I realize," Lucifer nodded. "This bothers me more than I would like, to be honest."

"You're never honest," Sam pointed out.

Lucifer's lips curled into an amused smile. "Touché." Then he frowned, as if in deep thought. "You look tired."

"I'm exhausted," Sam sighed. "Feels like I haven't rested for _months._ Every night I pace this goddamn room, and it's driving me crazy even _without_ you being here to screw with my mind."

Lucifer made a soft, surprised sound. "I thought humans only needed sleep?"

"We do, but sleep usually means _rest._ And I don't get much rest here."

"I see." Lucifer frowned. "Then might I suggest we meet later, Sam?"

"What are you-" But before Sam could get out the question, everything went black.

* * *

Dean woke up slowly, a warm body lying half on top of him. Dean didn't wake up slowly these days. It'd been a while since there'd been someone else in his bed too.

He definitely didn't wake up feeling rested and... _safe._

"You're awake," Gabriel stated, lifting his head up from Dean's chest. One of his arms still rested on Dean's chest and his leg was all too comfortably draped over Dean's.

"You mojo'd me," Dean accused.

"You needed the sleep," Gabriel answered like that actually gave him the right to just zap Dean to sleep and invade his fucking dreams. "Whatever's going to happen... you'll need to be as alert as possible." He smiled sadly. "And I would have woken you up if anything happened."

Dean felt himself deflate a bit at that. Gabriel wasn't... wrong, exactly. He could still have asked.

Gabriel snorted. Yeah, okay; he would have said no.

"Come on." Gabriel plucked at the T-shirt Dean was wearing. "I didn't even molest you in your sleep. The least you could do is thank me."

Dean shook his head. "You totally wanted to cuddle instead of have some mind blowing sex. So who's the chick here again?" He mocked. Neither of them mentioned the blush, or the slight hitch in his voice.

There was a moment of silence and Dean's mind inevitably wandered back to Sammy.

"Still nothing," Gabriel confirmed before Dean ever got the question out.

"I should call Bobby." He knew Bobby would have called him if there'd been any information, but...

Gabriel gave Dean a brief kiss, nothing more than a short press of lips against lips. Then he snapped his fingers and handed Dean his completely undamaged cell phone before getting out of the bed.

"I'll go get breakfast," Gabriel said, ignoring the fact that he didn't need to actually go anywhere at all to get food. "He hasn't said yes," he added before he was gone with another snap.

* * *

When Sam woke up, it was night again. When he checked his watch, he saw that he'd been sleeping for over eighteen hours. He whistled. The sleep had been completely dreamless, and he felt more rested than he had been in... Well, God knows how long, really.

He sat up, taking a deep breath. And just like that, the day before slammed into him by full force. _God, Dean... What did I do?_ He searched for the cellphone in his pocket, but it wasn't there. He must have left it with Dean and Gabriel. Sam wondered what the two of them were doing right now, especially after Sam's little parting gift. Probably freaking or screaming at each other.

He laughed weakly. Maybe they'd killed each other while they were at it. "Fuck," he said out loud, because it was too quiet in here. "Cas?" he called softly, hoping that the angel would listen just this once. Sam didn't dare to call for Gabriel- he didn't need to get smited ten ways from sideways, thank you very much.

"Cas?" He tried again. Nothing happened. He sighed and went into the bathroom. He was still wearing yesterday's clothes, so he shed them and popped into the shower. Somehow, it felt like this was the first time he'd been awake for _weeks._ Probably since it was that long ago he'd been really _asleep._

He stepped out and dried off, thinking of plans to get in touch with Dean or Bobby. It was obvious that Cas weren't gonna show up this time either, and Dean would probably be freaking now- especially since Sam had been missing for a day and a half.

There was a blast of something white outside his window, and the unmistakable ringing in his ears that meant an angel's voice. The bathroom mirror shattered and fell to the floor in tiny pieces, and the windows suffered the same fate. Sam pressed his hands against his ears, unsuccessfully trying to block out the sound. It dimly occurred to him that he was screaming himself hoarse, and he went down to his knees as he felt blood oozing out of his ears.

As sudden as it had come, it was gone. The voice, the light, the booming sound... gone. Sam rose as he tried to get his breathing under control, and snapped his fingers to make sure he wasn't deaf. To his great relief, he wasn't. That didn't mean he understood what the hell had just happened, though.

He pulled on some clothes and a pair of shoes, making sure there was no glass in either. Then he stepped out. "Hello?"

Okay, so maybe calling out wasn't the smartest thing he could have done, but still. He didn't get an answer.

There was something... _something_ over by the end of the parking lot, something lying on the pavement. Sam felt his stomach drop as he noticed how very much the something looked like an oversized trenchcoat.

"_Cas?_"

The angel, because it _was_ really him, didn't answer. He was lying curled in on himself, mouth open and eyes closed. There was blood, but Sam couldn't determine where it had come from. If it was even the angel's.

"Shit, Cas..." He shook the angel gently. No reaction. He finally hoisted him over his shoulder and carried him to his car. Sam didn't know if angels could even _get_ brain-damage, but he was willing to take the risk.

Then he went back into the ruined motel room and quickly gathered his belongings, before he got back into the stolen car and drove off. They had no doubt attracted a lot of attention, what with the window-smashing and white lights and all. Sam didn't know where he was, so he just drove for a few hours until he found another motel. There he ordered a room with two beds, told them his buddy had 'had a little too much to drink, if you know what I mean', and lifted Castiel onto one of the beds.

The angel was still unconscious.

Sam didn't know what to do with him, with _anything,_ really. He was still afraid to call for Gabriel. So instead, he laid down on the other bed and willed himself to sleep.

It worked.

* * *

Dean couldn't taste the food at all. He might as well have been chewing on cardboard. It didn't help that he knew the food had to be good; Gabriel was the one who'd gotten it and Gabriel's food was never less than excellent.

He took another bite. Chew. Swallow.

Nothing.

Gabriel kept watching him as he forced himself to swallow bite after bite. Kept looking at him like he was waiting for something. It was fucking unnerving.

Bite. Chew. Swallow.

Usually Gabriel would have gotten something for himself as well, even if it wasn't anything even Dean could call proper food (at least not when it was all Gabriel ever ate). But this time there hadn't been anything at all sweet and all Gabriel had done was watch Dean.

"Bobby didn't have anything," Gabriel said suddenly. It wasn't a question and Dean knew Gabriel already knew the answer. If there had been anything it would have been the first thing Dean would have told him once he got back. Hell, if there had been anything at all Dean would have called him back immediately and not waited for him to return on his own.

Dean pushed away the half filled plate of food, there was no way he could force down any more.

Gabriel was still staring at him and Dean couldn't make himself look back.

He heard a snap of fingers and he was sitting on his bed. Gabriel was sitting right next to him, their thighs brushing together, but other than that he wasn't touching Dean at all.

"Dean," Gabriel said quietly. Too fucking seriously.

He turned to look at the archangel next to him and it felt like he was moving in slow motion. Gabriel's eyes were a muted hazel that wasn't sparkling at all and it was obvious even to someone without any annoying mind reading powers that there was something Gabriel wanted to say. Probably a lot of somethings judging by the way he was looking at Dean.

Except Gabriel blinked and sighed and didn't say anything at all. And Dean knew that reaction, had gotten it from Sam enough times to know just what it meant; they _wanted_ to tell Dean something, but they knew Dean wouldn't listen. That meant he was pretty damn sure it wasn't anything he wanted to hear and in this situation...

No, he really didn't need to be a fucking mind reader at all.

Gabriel leaned towards Dean, ran his fingers over Dean's jaw line. He smiled ever so slightly.

It wasn't what Dean had expected at all.

Gabriel moved ever closer. "Tell me to stop," he whispered inches away from Dean's mouth. "Tell me. And I will."

Their lips hovered there like that for a moment, neither of them moving and Dean wondered if Gabriel was actually waiting for Dean to say something. Maybe he was and maybe that was the nice thing to do, but if Gabriel didn't do something _right the fuck now,_ Dean would... well, he wasn't sure really. Bolt? Maybe, but he didn't think he could move, not right then and he sure as hell couldn't say anything, because his lips were refusing to form words.

Gabriel's lips were on his. Dean already knew Gabriel was a damn good kisser, he had put some effort into it earlier after all. But this was different, less playful and...

Gabriel pushed his tongue inside Dean's mouth and Dean stopped thinking about what it all meant.

* * *

"Can angels get sick?"

"Why do you ask?" Lucifer answered. He smirked. "Another plan to kill me?"

"There's something wrong with Cas," Sam told him.

"With Castiel? How?"

"He just... he showed up in a flash of white light," Sam said slowly, and looked down. "And... I think maybe he was screaming. In Enochian."

Lucifer rose from his chair and walked over to the Winchester. It was the first time Sam had seen him do anything but sit. "Your ears are bleeding," the Devil said.

"It's stopped now, I'm fine," Sam brushed him off. "But Castiel's unconscious, and I don't know what to do with him."

"And you ask me? For assistance?" Lucifer looked almost as surprised as Sam felt.

_Well, when he put it like that..._ "Um, yeah? I think so?"

Lucifer just looked at him for a long time, and then nodded. "Was he bleeding?"

"Yes, he was. But I don't know from where."

Lucifer closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "Please undress him and see if there is blood on his back. Between his shoulder blades."

"Why?" Sam wanted to know.

"I will tell you if my suspicions are confirmed," he said calmly. "Now wake up."

And Sam sat up in his bed with a gasp. "Castiel?"

No answer. The angel was lying in the exact same position as Sam had left him in.

Sam sighed and got over to the other bed. There he pulled of Castiel's trenchcoat, his shirt and tie, and finally turned him over. He gasped softly.

There _was_ blood between his shoulder blades. A lot of it. But when Sam washed it away with a piece of wet cloth, there was no wound underneath. Just normal, human-looking skin.

Sam went back to sleep.

"Well?"

"There was blood there," Sam nodded. "But no wound, so I don't understand what could have happened."

"Unfortunately, I do," Lucifer said and sighed heavily. He looked... almost sad, Sam noticed.

"What is it? What's wrong with him?" Sam was seriously worried right now.

"Castiel was screaming because he was experiencing the pure agony it is to have your Grace ripped out," Lucifer explained with a hollow voice. "The blood is the only trace of his Wings that can be observed on this plane."

"Wh- _what?_"

"My brother has Fallen," Lucifer said, his voice laced with grief. "He is more human now than _you_ are, Sam."

"But- _how?_" Sam asked, sitting down because his knees were shaking. Then a horrible thought struck him. "I forgot," he whispered. "I painted sigils on the walls to keep angels away, and then I called for him." He stared at the Devil.

"That could have been the reason, yes," Lucifer answered the unspoken question.

"Oh my God," Sam whispered as dread filled him to the brim. "I- I _made Castiel Fall._"

"Sam," Lucifer said and put a hand on his shoulder. "If he was this weak, my Brother would have Fallen no matter the circumstances."

"But he Fell because of _me,_" Sam hitched.

"I don't understand the difference," Lucifer said slowly.

Sam laughed shakily. It sounded like a sob. "It's called _guilt._ Look it up."

"I will," Lucifer nodded, and it sounded too much of a promise to Sam.

"I have to go back and fix something. Will you let me?"

"Of course," Lucifer said seriously.

* * *

To be honest; it wasn't the best sex Dean had ever had.

"Next time, it will be," Gabriel said, not bothering to lift his head from where it was resting on Dean's chest. It didn't sound like a promise, but a simple statement of fact.

Dean petted Gabriel's hair. And damn if that didn't _still_ feel weird. This whole situation still felt weird.

He didn't bother to answer Gabriel. It wasn't like he doubted his words (and Gabriel would already know that. Stupid angels, didn't even let you keep your own thoughts private), because it hadn't been the best sex ever, but it sure had been in the top ten. And that was saying something because it was sex with another _dude._ It wasn't like Dean was an expert on that and sex with a dude... bound to have its awkward moments.

But Dean was a fast learner when he needed to be and yeah, next time...

"...not so awkward."

_Stop reading my mind,_ Dean thought, feeling too lazy to open his mouth and form actual words.

Gabriel chuckled slightly. "Great argument, sweetheart." He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at Dean. "Besides, that's not what you said awhile ago," he added with a leer.

Dean did not blush.

Gabriel smirked. "I think what you said was..." His words cut off abruptly and Gabriel went completely still. Not the normal, human kind of still either, it was the kind of stillness that made Dean painfully aware that the body next to him was just something Gabriel was _wearing._

He'd never seen Gabriel like that. Ever. Out of all the angels he'd met Gabriel was the only one that always seemed to belong to his body, like it was actually _his._ And maybe that was just the result of long practice, because right now there was nothing natural about him at all.

Gabriel was still so close to him that it was impossible not to notice that he'd even stopped breathing. Dean wondered if Gabriel had still been pressed against him, would he have felt his heart stop beating too?

He really didn't want to know.

"Something's happened," Gabriel said tonelessly. The next word was added in a rough whisper that Dean wasn't even sure he heard. "Castiel."

"Cas?" Dean asked urgently. "Something happened to Cas?"

It was like Gabriel didn't even hear him.

Dean scrambled up into a sitting position, blanket sliding down to reveal more of their still naked bodies. Dean hardly even noticed.

"Gabriel?" he demanded, grabbing him by a shoulder and trying to shake him. _Trying_ because Gabriel didn't move as much as an inch. It was like holding onto a statue made of flesh and bone.

"Is Cas okay?" Dean tried again. "What the hell happened, Gabriel?"

It wasn't something he could put into words, but he felt the flesh under his hand grow alive again. Suddenly _Gabriel_ felt alive again.

"I... don't know," he said, looking up into Dean's eyes. "His grace..." Gabriel frowned. "He was... screaming."

Gabriel was looking up at Dean like he wanted Dean to make it all better. And Dean suddenly just _couldn't_ ask anything more. Instead he lay back down and pulled Gabriel towards himself, this time Gabriel moved quite easily, and just held him. Because how was he supposed to make any of it any better?

* * *

Dean wasn't sure how long it was before Gabriel started talking quietly. It didn't really matter anyway. All Dean could do was lie there and hold on to Gabriel while everything that meant anything was being taken away from him. And Dean couldn't do _anything_ at all about it.

"I don't know if he's alive or not," Gabriel said quietly. "His grace is... _gone._"

There was quiet for a long time. Dean stroked Gabriel's back soothingly and didn't say anything. Tried not to think anything.

"He was Falling," Gabriel said abruptly. "That's why he wanted me to watch out for you."

"So he Fell," Dean said, it was somewhere between a question and a statement. Was that supposed to be comforting? If so, Dean thought, maybe he needed some practice.

"Maybe, but... Shouldn't have been like _that._ He was fading, not... Something happened."

"Can't you find him?"

"I'm _trying,_" Gabriel snapped.

Dean stiffened and then forced himself to relax. They were both on edge and whatever had happened Gabriel was taking it worse than anything else this far.

There didn't seem to be much to say after that.

* * *

Castiel was just as unconscious as he'd been when Sam had left him. Sam suddenly felt sick, seeing all that exposed skin on the angel. _Ex-_ angel. It felt wrong, somehow. He redressed Castiel with gentle movements, his hands trembling.

Sam was a coward. Always had been. As he fixed Castiel and dried away the last traces of blood, he reached a conclusion inside his exhausted mind.

He wrote a letter to Dean and Gabriel, explaining the situation and saying he was sorry. For Cas, for them, for himself, for everything. For fucking up the world and not being able to fix it again. When he was done, he undressed and laid back down on the bed. He pulled his covers all the way up to his neck, and found the most comfortable position he could. There he lay and concentrated on his breathing, on getting tired.

As he was on the verge of sleep, he mumbled: "Gabriel. Gabriel, come. Please. _Gabriel._"

As he fell asleep, he heard a faint flutter of wings, and then he was back in the scorched room with the Devil.

"Back so soon?"

"Keep me here," Sam pleaded. "I've fucked up enough. The only place I can't fuck up further, is in my own head."

"What a curious logic," Lucifer said. "But if you want, I will keep you from awakening."

"Really? You can do that?"

Lucifer grinned. It looked almost human. "Sam. I can do _anything._"

* * *

Gabriel jerked again, suddenly, but this time there was nothing unnatural about it. It was more like he flinched.

"What is it?" Dean said, more a murmur than a question. He was still carding his fingers through the archangel's hair, but now he stopped and lifted himself a little.

"It's Sam," Gabriel whispered, and suddenly Dean was fully alert.

"What? What is it? Has he-"

Gabriel stopped him before he could that far by shaking his head. "No, he hasn't said yes. It's still him. He's... calling for me. I have to go."

"Go, get out," Dean urged him, and then the archangel was gone and he was alone in the bed. He got out and dressed himself quickly. He barely had time to get on his shoes before Gabriel snapped back into the room. "What hap-" The words on his lips curled and died as he saw Gabriel's devastated expression.

"You need to come with me," Gabriel said, his voice a rough whisper.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind; Dean took his hand without hesitation, and closed his eyes as he felt reality shift around them.

* * *

"Promise me," Sam blurted out.

"Promise what, Sam?" Lucifer said and frowned.

"That you won't hurt them. Dean or Cas or-" he stopped himself before he could say 'Gabriel'.

The Devil stared at him for a unnerving long time, but Sam had started to get used to it. That was probably a bad sign.

"Very well," Lucifer said. "I promise I will not harm your brother or Castiel unless it is absolutely necessary."

Sam shook his head. "Not good enough."

Lucifer sighed, and almost rolled his eyes. "I _promise_ not to harm Dean or Castiel unless it is to save yours, or my own, life. Is that better?"

Sam open his mouth, starting to say that no, that wasn't better, but thought about it. "Yeah. That's better."

Lucifer nodded, and looked pleased with himself.

"You realize I still don't trust you, right?" Sam asked warily.

"Of course," was the smooth reply.

* * *

"Cas?" Dean walked over to his best friend slowly, looking for a reaction. Any at all. He looked over at the other bed, where his brother was sleeping soundly. "Sam?"

"They're not waking up," Gabriel said behind him, and the voice was filled with so much Dean couldn't even begin to understand.

"Why not?" He walked over to Sam and shook him gently. His brother's head lolled from side to side with the movement, mouth open and breathing slow. "What's wrong with them?"

"Castiel is unconscious," Gabriel said, and now he just sounded sad. "He's had his Grace ripped out, and his body shut down because of the pain."

"He- ripped _out?_" Dean quickly left his brother's side in favor for his angel. "How?"

"I don't know yet," Gabriel said slowly, "but I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with Sam."

"Sammy? But he wouldn't- Gabriel, he'd never..." Would he?

"No, Dean. Not by purpose." In a blink the archangel was right behind him, sneaking his arms around Dean's waist.

Dean thought _fuck it_ and leaned back against him, savoring the momentary feeling of safety. "Will he wake up?"

"When he's ready; yes. I'm pretty sure he will."

"You're just 'pretty sure'?" Dean said, voice hitching a little.

"I'm usually right when I'm pretty sure," Gabriel mumbled against his neck and placed a soft kiss there.

Dean closed his eyes and basked in the attention for a few seconds before he pulled away. "And what about Sam? Is he just sleeping?"

"I don't know," Gabriel said, and he seemed worried. "He should be, but there's something holding him under."

"You mean Lucifer won't let him wake up?" Dean gasped, starting to panic.

"We don't _know_ this, Dean," Gabriel soothed him. "But there's no way I can find out for sure, unless..."

"Unless?" Dean turned and grabbed the slightly shorter man by the shirt, eyes pleading. "Please, Gabe. If there's anything you can do, do it."

"I could always try to extract information directly from his brain," Gabriel said, not meeting Dean's eyes. "But there's no telling what will happen if I do that, since Sam's brain is a bit different than most people's."

"Do it," Dean urged. "Please."

Gabriel looked at him for a long time, contemplating. Then he nodded. "If that's what you want." And without another word he sat down next to Sam's sleeping form, closed his eyes, and put his hands on either side of Sam's head. "Don't interrupt me, Dean," he gritted out before he went still again. The unnatural 'no one's home, try again later'- still.

Dean stood between the beds, watching in silence. He didn't know who he was most worried about right now. Or who he _should_ worry most about.

* * *

"Sam," Lucifer said softly, "I've read about 'guilt'."

Sam blinked, surprised. "You know, that was a joke."

"Oh? I didn't realize. Nevertheless, it was very educational. Is that how you feel right now?"

"Yeah, of course it is. I'm the one to blame, after all," Sam spat out, more angry at himself than the Devil. Strangely enough.

Lucifer let out a small 'hmmm' sound.

"What?"

"I would think your brother had a lot to do with it as well," Lucifer said slowly, as if he wasn't sure if this was appropriate. "In fact, I would think him more 'guilty' than you, as he made Castiel rebel against Heaven."

"But I painted the sigils," Sam argued. "And then I called for him."

"But you did not _mean_ to hurt him, am I correct?"

"Of course I didn't! I'd _never_ hurt Cas!"

"Then I really do not see the problem," Lucifer shrugged. "My brother knew he was Falling; even _I_ could sense it. This was inevitable, Sam."

Sam didn't answer, just shifted a little on his chair.

Lucifer actually _sighed,_ and then he rose from his own chair and walked over to Sam. "This 'guilt', this is sort of a family trait, is it not?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well," he said, weighing his words carefully, "you and your brother brought on the Apocalypse. Both by doing what you thought was right, and both have you tried to stop it since. Guilt is driving you, am I right?"

"Well, at least partly," Sam said. "What, are you saying you can rid me of my guilt if I say yes?" He rolled his eyes.

Lucifer shook his head. "No, Sam. I'm merely pointing out a few things. You think you brought on the Apocalypse, ending the world."

"Yeah."

"But that's wrong, you didn't," Lucifer said with a small smile.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, leaning away as the Devil inched closer.

"You could never end the _world,_ Sam. You're a human. With that little extra demon blood for flavoring, yes, but a human still. So is your brother. _I_ brought on the Apocalypse. _I_ am trying to, as you claim, end the world and destroy mankind. It's _I_ who have been spinning this plan since centuries before you were born."

Sam gaped. Lucifer didn't talk like he was succeeding in his plan, mocking Sam- he sounded like he genuinely wanted Sam to feel better. "Why do you care if I feel guilty or not?"

"I don't take pleasure in seeing you unhappy, Sam," Lucifer murmured. "I liked it when you smiled more. When you told me with eagerness why you wanted to save the world; how you used the grief life had given you to appreciate real happiness much better than the other hairless monkeys on this planet."

He didn't know what to say to that. "I'm not the only one, you know," Sam said after a while, when the shock had passed a little. "Who appreciates life. There are hundreds, _thousands_ like me."

"I have begun to realize," Lucifer said and kissed him.

Sam scrambled back until his chair tipped over and he fell to the floor. "_What the hell?_"

Lucifer tilted his head in a curiously Castiel-like fashion. "That was not the response I was hoping for."

"You _kissed_ me!" Sam said, pressing himself against the wall.

"Yes."

"_Why_ did you kiss me?"

"I read about it," Lucifer said. "It seemed appropriate."

"Appr- there is _nothing_ appropriate about that!" Sam yelled.

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, you didn't _ask_ me!"

Lucifer frowned. "I was left with the impression that this was something that should be spontaneous."

"I'd- You-" Sam huffed, his face red. "Was that the only reason you did it?"

"I wanted to."

"Why?"

Lucifer shrugged. "Like I said, Sam. You intrigue me."

"I'm not gonna become your- your sex-slave or anything!"

Lucifer scrunched his nose. "No, that would be distasteful. I find your ability to choose interesting, although somewhat annoying at times. I would not take that away from you; that would go against my Father's wishes."

"You... Are a hypocrite, you know that?"

Lucifer laughed. "Yes, I'm aware."

Sam slowly stood up, Lucifer watching him all the time. "So... what do you want from me? I won't say yes to you."

Lucifer shook his head. "I don't _want_ you to say yes, Sam."

"What?"

"You heard me." There was something almost guarded about his expression, now. "I wish there was a way to prove that my intentions were pure."

"Yeah," Sam heard himself say. "Me too."

Lucifer smiled, but then his face contorted into a mask of pain.

"Lucifer?" Sam asked as the Devil groaned.

"I don't- What is this?" Lucifer gasped out as he trembled.

Sam felt it too; a new presence, something _strong._ "I don't know." He groaned at the pressure it was giving him, going down to his knees.

Lucifer's eyes snapped open and he leaned down to grab a hold of Sam. "It's trying to destroy you," he gasped to him. "I don't know who it is- it must be Raphael or Michael. I must destroy it before you're damaged beyond repair."

Sam's eyes widened as he understood. An _archangel. Gabriel._ "Lucifer, no!" he screamed as he-

* * *

-sat up in his bed and Gabriel was gasping next to him and Dean was by his bed freaking and-

"What the hell happened?" Dean said, and then turned to Gabriel. The archangel's eyes were open but unseeing, his body rigid and his hands still on Sam's temples as if they were glued there.

"Dean!" Sam said. "I need to get back there!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Sammy, you just woke up!" Dean barked out. "Gabriel? Hey, man, are you there?"

"You don't understand, Dean!" Sam said urgently. "Lucifer doesn't know it's Gabriel! He doesn't recognize him, he thinks it's Michael of Raphael trying to kill me!"

"What?" Dean said, confused and scared. "But why do you-"

"He promised me," Sam said and tried to get Gabriel to look at him. "Lucifer, he promised that he wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"Of course he did, he wants your meatsu-"

"I can't explain it, we don't have time!" Sam said and laid back down. "Please, please, just fall asleep..." He didn't. Of course he didn't.

Dean stayed silent by his side, seeming to understand the severity of the situation. As Sam tried to relax, he heard his brother shift nervously. The room was thrumming with tension. Finally, his brother took his hand. Strengthened by the silent trust Dean was placing in him, Sam slipped under and back into the too-familiar room.

It was in pieces. There were large chunks of the walls missing, pure black outside it. There were scorch marks everywhere, and Lucifer was in the room in close combat with Gabriel.

"Brother," Gabriel gasped out, and that's when Sam noticed they were completely still.

Lucifer opened his mouth in surprise. "G- _Gabriel?_ But- you were dead! I was told you were dead!"

"Nah, I wasn't," Gabriel gritted out, a bubble of blood bursting in the corner of his mouth. "But we're getting there mighty fast."

"No!" Sam screamed when he saw the knife deeply embedded in the younger archangel's chest.

"Hey, Sammy," Gabriel said, trembling as his brother held him up. "Tell your brother I love him, 'kay?"

"No, no, no..." Sam got over, and Lucifer pulled his knife out with a devastated expression as he lowered Gabriel to the floor.

"Why?" Lucifer hitched. "Why didn't you _say_ anything?"

"Heard Sam yell," Gabriel gasped as more blood forced its way out of his mouth. "Thought you were hurting him." There was a red rose on his chest, expanding every second that went by.

"Fix him!" Sam begged.

"I can't," Lucifer whispered and grabbed his brother's hand. "I stabbed him with an Archangel's Blade."

"Oh well," Gabriel coughed and tried to smile. "At least you're back."

"What do you mean?" Lucifer asked.

"You, bro- The Morningstar. It's shining within you again." Gabriel's eyes fluttered close and he went slack.

* * *

A beam of white light engulfed the motel room, and Gabriel let out a last shuddering breath before he slumped. Dean cried out in surprise, covering his eyes, and then the light was gone and Gabriel was lying on the floor. There were scorch marks after his burned wings, and his face was pale and still.

"Gabriel?" Dean whispered.

Sam was still asleep.

"Oh God, Gabriel..." Dean dropped down to his knees and put his hand on Gabriel's chest. It came back bloody. "No, please..."

Gabriel stayed still and dead. A few burning feathers fluttered in the air around him.

"Gabriel," Dean hitched, and didn't even care that tears were streaming from his eyes. He just collapsed on the floor, on the top of his angel, and held him close as he sobbed.


	3. Epilogue

It felt like an eternity had gone by before Dean finally sat up. He stood up on shaky legs and looked at the two beds. In the left one, Castiel human and unconscious. In the right one, Sam sleeping and probably saying yes to the Devil right that very moment. And between them...

Dean picked up his brother's note and read it. Then he turned on his heel, walked out of the room and into the empty parking lot.

"I don't know if you motherfuckers planned this," he whispered at the sky, face puffy and red from crying. "But if you did, congratulations. It worked. I'm not doing this anymore. I can't." He sucked in a last, shaky breath. "Yes. I'm saying _yes,_ Michael."

And once again he was engulfed in blinding light, wrapping around him, almost suffocating him.

He was almost relieved he wouldn't have to care anymore.

* * *

Sam walked out the open door of the motel room just a moment too late. He just heard his brother's whispered words before everything went blindingly white, and he couldn't even hear himself scream. When everything was quiet again, he opened his eyes to see his brother still standing there. Just... it wasn't him anymore. Wasn't Dean. His posture, his gaze, everything was different. Wrong.

Michael turned to him, sent him a cold smile, and then snapped away.

THE END


End file.
